It was Tuesday. I sat in my apartment alone, slouched over a small box. I stared at the empty cardboard boxes I had stolen from downstairs with a blank face. I studied every contour of the box, seeing the creases and holes and little pieces of tape that held it all together. I picked up a piece of random clothing. I lazily aimed and I missed. The white t-shirt flopped off the side of one of the boxes and landed in a soft paddle on the floor. I stared at the array of boxes and nonsense on the ground and I carefully wondered how all of this would be dragged downstairs. Before I could think for any longer, a shrill ring sounded in my ears. I stared at the phone for three rings before I decided to pick it up.
It was Johnny. He spoke first. "Juliet, we meet up after years and you don't give me a call after a week? I thought we had something special. I thought you'd call." He gave me a pathetic cry and a slight laugh. "Sorry John. But I've been busy." "With what?" "Packing. Taping. Staring at brown boxes. You know, the regular." "Packing?" "Yeah. California. They say dreams come true there." "California? California as in 5,000 miles away California?" "Is there any other?" "Stop that. Juliet, you said you wouldn't leave. You said you'd stay." I could hear the anger in his voice. He was upset. I was leaving, once again. Fleeing when it got too rough, or too unstable for me. It was this flawed trait I just couldn't shake. But oh, it was so easy just to run. And if I was going to do it, I was going to do it now. I had nothing holding me back, no more law school, no more law firm, just clear sailing. Except for him. And damn him for making me want to think twice. But he was my only family I had left. And I knew I'd have to shed some tears. "No. You said I'd stay." "So, what? You're just going to pick up and leave again? Just like that? Just like five years ago?" The bitter tone was clear. It cut me deep. But I couldn't let him know. I tried to remain calm, but it backfired. I gritted my teeth. He was pulling me. "Isn't this resolved business, John?" "It was until you decided to tell me, on the phone nonetheless, that you are leaving, in god knows when to California. A place where you didn't even know existed in the first place." "Excuse me? I thought I lived there, but I must be mistaken." "So you're going back home? You're going back to your mom and Jessica?" Silence. "No." "Then where?" "Not home, that's for sure." "Stop being so evasive. You know I hate that." Silence. Again. When he spoke again the tone in his voice began taking a begging state. "Juliet, please, don't be so distant. Tell me something good." "I'm leaving to California. Good?" "Hardly." "Well it could be good for me, John. All my dreams could come true there. I wouldn't have to worry about what I wanted to do anymore. I could just live in beautiful peace there." I had made it sound as if California was dreamland. My home for 15 years had been nothing like it. But of course, that had been L.A.. I was not going back there. Never would I let myself fall back into that regime. Not after…everything. Not after the disaster. "You and I both know California isn't beautiful. Not like that, at least. And what, Juliet, exactly are your dreams?" This last part came out in a wheez. "I'm not sure. Maybe I'll find out." His voice was stern. "Don't go, Juliet. Don't go so far away. Not when you could have your life here." "I've already gone down that road, and there was nowhere for me to take a pit stop on. Nowhere to rest my head, nowhere to call home." "Well then, maybe you could make yourself one. You could rebuild. Right here in New York. Or Orlando." "What the hell is in Florida?" "My home." His last words were so simple and short, but it left me thinking. "Your home? And what I do there? Crash and then do nothing but waste my brain cells away in Florida sun? No. No I don't think so. Thanks for the offer, Unc, but I don't think I could let myself waste away anymore than I already have." "I'm just saying Juliet, that you could rebuild elsewhere. Not in California, at least. You know what's in California." I found myself whispering and I silently cursed myself for that. "It was a long time ago." "Yeah. But you never forgot." He was right. I never forgot what happened in California. All…of the ridicule. And the prestige. And the façade. And the disaster. And the death. And…just..everything. He was the next to speak. "Just think about it. Come down to Orlando. Stay with me for a few weeks. If you don't enjoy it, just come right back to New York. Just find yourself a home, Juliet." "I can't. Not New York. I've already notified the landlord, I've packed it all up, I've got a airline ticket, one way, to California. I'm not just going to derail my plans just because you've got some crazy notion that I should be in Orlando, of all places, too. I don't even like Orlando. The sun makes me nauseous." "The sun? The sun makes you nauseous? Oh god. You are some overly manic depressive 20 year old. What, I ask, am I going to do with you? Therapy? Have you thought about therapy? Or can the error of your ways never be changed?" "I'm glad you're having some fun with my life." I smirked and played with my ticket, letting the edges slip over my fingers. I stared dumbly at the walls and awaited an answer. "Stay, Juliet. Stay." His words were smooth and pressed so hard against my ear I wasn't sure I wanted to hear them. I shut my eyes in anguish and said nothing. I waited for him to speak. His voice was hurried. He was rushing off. "Listen, I've got to go. But I can't just let you skip off to California. Which is why, I've taken some measures." I eyed the phone with curiosity. "What kind of measures?" I didn't even need him to answer. The doorbell answered for me. The sound echoed through the empty halls, through the tiny living room, and the scratchy sound of my television was the only other sound in the desert of polished wood and dirty wallpaper. I opened the door, and there they stood, like some kind of bodyguards, hovering over me like I was to be kept for safekeeping. I stared at the phone with a questioning glance, half filled with anger, half filled with regret that I ever picked up the phone. I slowly put it back to my ear, unintentionally ignoring the uninvited guests at the door. "You didn't." "Oh but dear, I did." "Was it absolutely vital to send the troopers over here? People I don't even know, people who could potentially take advantage of me and smoke crack over the shambles of my dirty clothing and myself?" "What the hell, Juliet? What are you, some kind of paranoid, disturbed, fiction novelist who has novels sold at the nearby drugstore next to be anti-depressants and mysterious 4-year old looking Tylenol?" "Hell, if I'm a overactive, paranoid fiction novelist, then you've got your name all over the book sitting next to mine." And I laughed. It was the first time in a long time I had laughed like that. And when I turned around and perused the faces of the five young gentlemen standing quietly near the door, I shut myself up and beckoned them to sit down. I murmured a 'goodbye' to John and he swore to me that he'd ring again. And I didn't have a doubt in my mind that I'd hear another speech to heed his point for me to stay in New York and never come in the vicinity of California ever again. I drew in a breath of air and stared down. There, sitting on my wooden floors where my beat up couch used to sit, were five men, all looking equally awkward, and out of place. Surprisingly, I was the first to speak. "Nice to see you all again. It's been awhile." I smiled a small smile and leaned back on my kitchen counter. "Question. Not that your presence isn't wanted, but I do happen to know that you are all here to keep me inside this apartment building, but don't you all have things to do? I mean, there's no need in wasting a night like this in a drab, run down apartment building in the middle of nowhere, New York with a girl that I'm sure you all can't remember all that well." Chris was the first to speak. I remembered him because of him quietness. Same how I remembered Justin's emotionless face. "Well we just couldn't pass up the chance to sit in this empty apartment and smoke crack over your body." The room erupted in laughter and I looked down in pure embarrassment. I smiled a bit and murmured, "Sorry guys. I didn't..well, mean it like that." They were still laughing. Hard. I shook my head and sighed while taking a seat as well. I stared at the clock. This was becoming ridiculous. A full five minutes had passed before tears were being wiped from various eyes. Lance was the first to speak up after their bout of endless laughter. "Nice to see you again, Juliet. Still keeping the faith?" There was a small glint in his eye and I couldn't help but smile. |