Bottled Up Anger Let Out

You don’t want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out. - Fred OotP (maybe it was George iono)
But remember, happiness can be found in the darkest of times. As long as someone remembers to turn on the light." - Albus (something soemthing something something something) Dumbledore (PoA movie)

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Today's the 29th geesh. New Years is two days away. Aww two days till I have to go to that stupid thing in Gaylord Palms. I don't wanna go to some stupid kids party. My dad's all like "Ryan, your gonna make some new friends. And swap emails" I'm like wtf I hate kids.
Aha Jess' Sims just set the house on fire again. I feel bad for her her parents jsut filed bankrupcy...Iono exactly what it means but I think it almost happened to my bro. Anyways. I watch a little bit of Quintublets but thatw a slike an 1 hour and a half ago. So yeah....
Well it's good to see most people are happy. I s'pose I am. Gong to swim practice makes me depressed. It reminds me of how I used to not go in 6th grade, my favourtie year. Haha, another reason why I lurved 6th grade "Not a lot of time spent at Bolles!" All of my time is devoted to
swimming these days. Hehe chat room other night...:
Me: all they need is a tv station for rednecks and jews and they got every race covered
Mellisa from RGUK: lol, i didn't know redneck was a race, but all right
Jessica L. from RGUK: LOL!
Some topics in that chat room that ngiht include 15 eyar olds getting married, hiring people to kill you and lagging. I have some good ideas for my Fanfic er fanfic02...Its the one about my life at Hogwarts along with some friends from school and other places..Woot they're in my profile...people who dont kno nething about hP or neone at that matter will b elike WTF?!!?!?! lol
I want my time-turner I got a HP 2005 calendar today woot!
woot @ 10:14 eastern

Monday, December 27, 2004

I notice how everyone seem so much odler than me. They look soo much odler than me, and not the 7th grader slook 18 way. It feels like I'm jsut so yougner than everyone else and have always felt that away. And I'm now being prosectued for being too much of a HP fan
I'm happy my tears and unhappiness thrill people so much. I'm glad I'm a great "joke starter". I'm happy to know I am nothing but dust swept udner the rug.
Alone Forgotton Ugly
In the words of STEPS.... And they call me, Happy-Go-Luck (Go Lucky) They don't know my heart is dying inside. A smile's a frown, turned upside down. I do my happy-go-lucky so-so (so well) I'm even fulling myself....
i...want...that...time-turner...and i don't care if it makes me weird and if its funny to u! u hate me neways and u always have...i'm taking jess' advice...
It's okay rae, i think i know how you feel...you mad ethe right decision...
cried himself to sleep @ 11:40PM eastern

Sunday, December 26, 2004

I sit here, about to cry. I will enver be able to find the root of my depression. Can someone help me? When I get depressed I usually:
Go to swim practice
Go to team-up
Something about Harry Potter
Watch good movies
When I'm not depressed I:
Have good days.
Ride the bus home
Not many Harry Potter thoughts
Not a lot of Nichelodeon or Degrassi
It's weird cause my depressions tarted, this year, the day I saw degrassi unscripted...I've been depressed since then but not depressed this whole month! I think the breaks give me a better view on life. I shall always remember the days of 6th grade
And cherish them dearly in my heart. And as I take on the paths into high school wherever that might be, I hope my depression elaves me but my thoughts of 6th grade enver do. For 6th grade I felt the happiest one could ever feel. It seemed long and very eventful
When I went to team-up I wanted it to never end and when I didn't I loved the bus rides home. Even though many tears had shed through 6th grade, constant "Gay" callings, and onto 7th grade, constant "oreo" callings, and now no one even noticing me. I feel like
a 6th grader should, and 6th grade as an 8th grader should, bliss-ful in my mind. I can't take it! I can't do this! I can't be online every other second jsut like 6th grade, I am not a 6th grader anymore, I need to grow up, I'm sick of all my selfish attemps at doing things
I'm nothing mroe than a ruddy 8th grader who should stomp on the 6th graders! As they enver stomped on me! And should b eking of the school NOW than THEN! Not saying that I was but I sure felt like it. And the only reason I wanted to do the story was so figure out where the
did out 6th grade friends go? Like I said in my essay alst year "When I entered 7th grade I had already thought I had my own own set of friends, but when 7th grade started i got a new set of friends" and along them included the what I call "The I-Hate-Ryan Club" ccause everyone of
them hated me. For thigns I did, lets say they held grudges, which I do, sicne I'm human, but i hold 'em for stupid reasons they THEY held 'em. I hole one for s gesture I made in 6th grade during a poem recitation, its not like people laughed and of course poeple clapped, I dunno what happened
In 6th and 7th grade everyone clapped when I did my poem or skits. even before then! People loved to see me perform, even if they did "hate" me. And even if they were "cool/popular". (quote on quote in that instance) I just gah, I wish I could get that same outlook on life now, that rachel
has and that I had in 6th grade. But as the hours to swim practice grow nearer and the hours to the next Christmas grow farther and the hours to FCAT grow nearer....I really do wish I had that Time-Turner. No one wants it more than me, and no one diserves it mroe than me. But I know I need
to learn from the past, and as I sit here typing this on my new computer almost to tears I can't stop and wonder. What is out there? And if I am the only one who feels that way, but guess what I AM! I'm alone in this world... And no one understand me.
*I reach aroudn my neck seeing if the chain is there, but once again it is not and I settle back into Earth"
Wanted to get his time turner @ 8:59 eastern

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas! I'll be back later with hopefully a new layout and more posts now that I got a computer for X-mas! What did ya get? wooot @ 4:08 eastern

Sunday, Novemeber 07, 2004

New Philosophy^^^^. Everything is going wrong....I love at the scissors....and wonder if I should do it....
Opened Up the Bottle @ 7:50 eastern

Wednesday, Novemeber 03, 2004

Well, he is our President for the next four years. President George W. Bush. And really, I don't care in 2000 (third grade term) I was persuaded to become a Bush person by Beathany and Mededith, and other people in my class. "I acctually voted for Clinton, before I voted against him," LOL. But really, I was a Democrat till 3rd Grade. In Fourth Grade I voted Bush. Bush Cheney '00. In 7th grade term I wanted Howard Dean to become president. Dean Edwards '04. ALOT of people wanted Dean, then Edwards. But not Kerry. Kerry was my last choice. I was happy when Edwards was elected vice presidential candidate. In the school-wide mock election, I voted for Bush. I would have voted for Nader. Mel Martinez is our Senator. I wanted Betty Castor... Meliquaries (sp) Martinez is the first Cuban-American senate. Mr. D. got one vote for govenor, LOL. I wanna look that up lol. Anyways, I got a picture of Lauren J. and Rachel from the 6th grade yearbook, and one of Ms. Gaylor's kids who were dressed up for Halloween '02. I'm going to colour scan them now for memories when I'm older. Or to embarass people lol. Still gotta find Afton's book, prolly no luck in succeeding. Early Release today and dad didn't come till about 3. Waiting with Karla, Shelby, Liz, Kayla, Zack, Daniel, Stephanie (6th grader), Fernanda and her sis. And now the inside scoop:
Officer Carol has a man handcuffed and brings him to the police car. He mutters a few words and the arrestee tries to escape. Officer Carol opens his door, but not the back seat door. (LOL). He has to unlock the back door. He reachs into the aresstee's pocket and pulls out a green lighter and some other things. The guy merley laughs at what I thought was tickiling and merely said "Motherf*** ya'll s**t." At that Officer Carol throws the man inside his car. The man struggles around and officer carol is typing. Karla takes a picture of the man and students are watching the car. Officer Carol is typing. People are muttering. The man keeps struggling and gets a boner. (LOL) The man feels on himself, (he had no shirt on) and laughs. After a while Officer Carol pulls out of the school. And everyone tells there stories. It seems that a short 6th grader named Alan got beat up by the arrestee. I also heard he was bleeding. Officer Carol comes back about 15 minutes later, for another crime that happened. Someone threatned a student with a gun and said "I'm gonna kill you." Mr. C, Mr Alvie, Ms. Coney, and Officer Carol were all on McDonalds grounds. Ms. Coney muttered something about "threat" and "Ms. Hough." The car is back about 15 minutes before I leave. The arrestee is trying to brake free. He cannot. The blond boy walks out of the school with his mum. As the pass the car the boy holds his mothers hand. Shelby L. calls her mum and tells her about the incidents. I leave about 5 minutes later. And there you go! My story. I'm going to look on the internet for the story.
Opened Up the Bottle @ 6:27 eastern