Mock Westlife Interview.

Here, I have made my way backstage again using my faithful pepper spray. I believe the security guards are now scared of me… Back to the point, I’m about to interview Westlife! Shane has apparently forgotten the little episode with the vase. I don’t know what came over me. Oh well…

Gem: So, Westlife. Say hi!

Westlife: Hi, we’re Westlife!

Gem: Do you seriously practice that?

Westlife: *together* No.

Gem: Could you try doing it all out of time?

Westlife: Hi, we’re Westlife. *still together* Nope.

Gem: Go on, try…

Several hours later, they still haven’t got it

Westlife: Hi, we’re Westlife.

Bryan: Look, I’ll start. The Shane and Nicky come in, the Mark, and Kian last. Right? Go!

Westlife: Hi, we’re Westlife!

N: No, no, no! Right, try again. Bryan…..

Gem: *smashes head into door and screams* ENOUGH!!!!! Can I interview you now?

Westlife: Sure.

Gem: Does it annoy you when people make up interviews with you?

Westlife: *together* Yes. (You can shut up now.)

Gem: OK. When is your next album out?

Westlife: *together* Autumn.

Gem: Could you stop talking exactly together please?

Westlife: *together* Sure thing.

Gem: *begins to cry* oh gawds….

Kian: What’s wrong?

Gem: So you can talk separately.

Westlife: Yes, we can.

Gem: *breaks down in fits of tears* NNOOOOO!!!

Shane: *whispering* Are you OK?

Gem: Not really. *sob*

Shane: Ask us anything you like.

Gem: Really? Will you take off your tops?

Westlife: No.

Gem: Will you take your trousers off?

Westlife: No.

Gem: Will you all marry me?

Westlife: No.

Gem: Do you say anything other than no?

Westlife: Yes.

Gem: *getting annoyed* Do you ever talk for yourselves?

Westlife: *Long pause. Very long pause* Yes.

I begin throwing yet more vases. Security throw me out again. Westlife are seen carrying guns and Anti-Westlife Mania signs. Darn.

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