Mock Nicky Interview

Hmm. I don’t know why, but everytime I go near the lads these days they scream and run away. Scream and run away from moi, their bestest pal in the whole wide world. Anyway, I scared the crap out of Nicky in a lift by jumping up and down and pretending we were stuck. BWAHAHAHA. But, er, then it did get stuck. Haha, erm, ha.

N: JESUS!! WE’RE GONNA DIE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs around lift wildly….hey, it’s a big lift* AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Three hours later. Hey, do you not realise I’m stuck in here with a maniac, people? HELLO?

G: Er, Nicky?

N: AHHHHHHH!!!

G: Don’t you start.

N: Eh?

G: That’s all Kian would do when I found him too. It goes right through my head, y’know.

N: What’s all Kian would do? This? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

G: *covering ears* YES!! NOW STOPPIT!

N: Sorry. Were you stuck in a lift with Kian too?

G: No.

N: Why was he screaming then?

G: Cause… oh, never mind. You don’t seem too scared of me.

N: That’s cause you’ve got nothing to throw at me.

G: *looks around* Ah, so y’are.

N: ?

G: Forget it. Can I interview you or what?

N: S’pose. Got nothing else to do. And we’re going to die anyway, so it doesn’t make any difference to anyone.

G: Oooh. *evilly muttering to self* Maybe I can get some juicy answers, muwahaha….

N: Hmm?

G: Oh, nothing. So….. *thinks*……… you’re really scared of lifts?

N: *whimpers* Yes.

G: I’m not…. Wait a danged minute, of course I am!

N: You are?

G: *hyperventilating* Oh, , ing !

N: Oh, wow! Someone else who’s terrified of lifts!

G: *stops* Actually I just hate them when they’re moving.

N: *sarcastically* Well that’s OK then.

G: Oh shuddup you. Who’s interview is this, huh? Now. Ever felt the urge to jump off a cliff?

N: Um, no.

G: Really?

N: *worriedly* Yes.

G: Ever stripped off naked in front of more than five girls?

N: *raising eyebrows* Not that I’m aware of.

G: Shame.

N: But I do have this… *delves in bag and pulls out picture of Shane butt naked*

G: *snatches picture* Phhoooooooooarrrr…. Wait, how the heck did you get this? And why do you have it in your bag?! *gets very worried*

N: *sigh* I just found it. And I threatened Shane that I’d give it to someone if he was mean to me.

G: Mmm.

N: It’s the truth!!

G: Uh huh.

N: Growl.

G: Anyway. *wipes away drool*

N: Eww!

G: What now?

N: You drooled!

G: Jeez. Like I said, anyway.

N: Don’t drool on me!

G: GRRR. ANYWAY. Who was the last person you kissed? Hmm?

N: Err, Georgina?

G: Liar.

N: How did you know?!! *sobs*

G: Oh dear God. I was joking.

N: Who blabbed?!!!

G: Help.

N: *crying* Fine, I admit it, it was Shane…

G: WHHAAAAAAAAT?!!!

N: The last person I kissed *sob* was Shane. *sob*

G: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

N: *suddenly getting annoyed* I’m not gay.

G: Well that makes perfect sense.

N: ERGH.

G: Jeez, what now?

N: I just realised something.

G: Uh oh. *shifts slowly away*

N: The last person I kissed was a guy. I’m going to die, and the last person I kissed was a guy. Nooooo…oooo….oooooo…..*breaks down in fit of sobs*

G: Poor Nic….Wait a minute. BUWAHAHAHAHAHAA!!

N: That’s scary. Why are you laughing evilly?

G: Oops. Ahem. Weeeellll……I was just thinking, y’know, we could solve that proble…

N: Is that rescuers I hear??

Rescuer: Weeeee’rrrrreee coooooommmiiiiinnnnnggggggg….

G: Erm, no, of course it isn’t. But… er, haha, you can make the last person you snog female if you like.

N: Really? You mean you’re going to get me out of here?

G: *slams head into lift doors*

N: I think that’ll just give you a big headache actually.

G: I MEANT SNOG ME, YOU DIMMOCK!

N: Oh.

G: Well?

N: No, this is a lift.

G: Grrr. Snog me. NOW.

N: *obeys*

G: *snigger*

Five minutes later.

N: What was that?

G: Er, the lift moving?

Lift doors open out onto ground floor. Lots of people clap. Weirdos.

N: Darn.

G: Haha. Oops.

N: *glares* And you made me snog you.

G: Hehe. Haha. Er. *picture flutters out of hand*

S: *picks it up* WHHHAAATTT??!!!

G: Ohhhh shhhh…..

N & S: *glare*

G: ugggarrr….. *runs*

Nicky and Shane begin hurling various plant pots at me. I run for dear life. WAIIIITTT…

G: *screeches to a halt and picks up large metal thing* Who the hell do you think you are?!

N & S: Gulp.

G: No-one, I repeat, NO-ONE, takes my part at the end of the interview!!!

N & S: Sorry.

G: RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!

I hurl lots of large metal things at Nicky and Shane. They dive back into the lift. Apparently it got stuck. On the 89th floor. Well, naturally I didn’t know that that red button jammed the lift, did I?