Mock Bryan Interview

Well, I was wandering along the street, just minding my own business, when who should come along? Mr Bryan McFadden. Obviously, I didn’t know it was their hotel, and by no means was I stalking them…… Err, anyway, I came up with a cunning plan to nab an interview in a matter of seconds.

G: BOOOOOOHOOOOOO!! *sob, sob* WAHHH!!! *sniff, sniff*

B: *gets very worried* Aww, what’s up?

G: I Just got stuck in a lift with Nicky from *sob* Westlife, and *sniff* he was really *sob sob* mean to meeee!! *breaks down in fit of tears*

B: Well, I guess he is scared of lifts. But *stands up in save-world-type-way* that was no excuse for being mean to a fan.

G: *looks at Bry* So…. Will you make up for his bad behaviour?

B: Naturally. Hey, have I met you somewhere before?

G: NO! I mean, err, no, not that I remember. *smiles sweetly*

B: Oh. OK. Come up to my hotel room then.

This guy is seriously soft in the head. Err, in Bryan’s hotel room.

G: There’s baby clothes everywhere.

B: Yeah…….

G: Um. So. Er. Can I ask you some stuff, Mr Gorgeous Bryan-O?

B: Bryan-O?

G: Yeah. Cause you’re nutritious and delicious.

B: Riiiiiggghhhttttttt………

G: Erm. So. How’s…..things?

B: Cool.

G: No inter-band feuds?

B: No inter-band whats?!

G: Jeeeeeeeeessuuussss…. These guys are so thick!

B: *looks hurt* Thick?

G: *quickly* And tasty. Like those milkshake things.

B: Oh, cool!

G: Do you like bacon?

B: Uh huh.

G: Thought so. You look like you’ve eaten bacon rec….Oops.

B: *tears appear in eyes* Do I look fat?

G: I meant, you look yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yum…. Like Danish bacon.

B: Oh, riightt! But are you sure you got the right amount of yummies there?

G: Wha?!

B: I thought there were seven yummies and one yum. You did six.

G: Okkkaayyyy..Help me.. SOMEONE?!

B: I thought I was helping you feel better!

G: Oh yeah, sure, sorry. You’re really sweet. Really. Ahem.

B: Like fruit pastilles?

G: Yeah. Yeah, exactly like fruit pastilles.

S: *bursts through door* JAAAYYSUS! Bryan, you will never believe what just happened, we were stuck in thi…. YOU!

B: *ignoring Shane’s outburst* HI SHANE! Oh, this girl is so cool, I love her, she says I’m nutritious and delicious like Cheerios, tasty like milkshake-things, yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yum like Danish bacon and sweet like fruit pastilles!

G: *smiles sweetly at Shane*

S: *puts on an amused evil look* Oh Bryan… Haven’t you noticed that she’s been comparing you to food? Like, saying you’re FAT?

G: WHAT?!

B: WHAT?! *cries* You evil little…..

G: WHAT?!

S: Haha. Got ya back now.

G: *goes red with anger* YOU LITTLE !!

S: Uh oh.

B: What’s uh oh?

G: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

B: IT’S YOU!!!

S: Oh, Christ. Now he figures.

G: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I begin hurling baby toys at Bryan and Shane, then leap out of the window as Kerry enters. I hear Kerry yelling at them for the mess. BWAHAHA. Double dose of punish…… Oh crap, I just jumped out of a windooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow………..

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