Impressions

Well, me and the Westlife boys were getting bored one day, so they…

S: Me! I came up with it!

Sorry, so SHANE decided we should do some impressions. I left them to it. Actually, I stayed. Well, everyone needs a laugh!

K: Right. Well I’m gonna do Rolf Harris!

G: WHAT?!

K: Do you have a problem with me being Rolf Harris?

G: No, it’s just that I like the guy, and he doesn’t deserve insults.

K: *looks upset* That’s not a nice thing to say.

G: Well, surprisingly enough, it wasn’t meant to be. *folds arms sulkily* Nyah!

K: *mutters* Freak.

G: I HEARD THAT!

K: YOU WERE MEANT TO!

G: *sticks tongue out*

K: *puts finger up*

G: Ah! Bas…..

S: Hey! You’re ruining my idea!

G & K: Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez….

S: Well, Kian, are you gonna do Rolf Harris or what?!

K: Maybe. If she doesn’t keep messing it up.

G: Oh, ME! Well sorr-y for telling the truth!

S: SHUT UP!!

G: Chill out, dude…

S: KIAN!! If you’re gonna do Rolf Harris, HURRY UP!

K: *dashes off*

G: *yawn*

K: *runs back on donning Aussie style hat and wobbleboard*

G: Hey, where did you get the wobbleboard?

K: I have my ways. So, what song should I do?

G: Lay That Pistol Down.

K: Huh?

G: *sighs and hands Kian words to Lay That Pistol Down*

K: Can’t I just do Sun Arise?

G: You don’t have a didgeridoo.

K: Oh yeah. OK. *starts wobbling wobble board* Mary had a little bear, to which she was so kind…Everywhere that Mary went you’re see her bear behin.. HEY! This is rude!

M: Huh? I don’t get it?

G: *collapses in a fit of giggles*

M: No, really… Can someone tell me what’s funny?

K: I’m not singing this!

M: Oh, right! Hahaha!!! A BARE behind! Oh, I get it!

G: Mark, shut up.

K: Right, I’ll do Rolf Harris MY WAY!

G: Go ahead honey.

K: Shut it. Right, now. *wobbles wobbleboard* A wimbaweb, awimbaweb..

G: KIAN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

K: Rolf Harris.

G: *shoves Kian out of door and begins smashing wobbleboard over his head*

S: Err, OK, well.. Mark, while they’re occupied…killing each other….Why don’t you do your impression?

M: OK! I’m doing…Uhhhhh…

S: Cilla Black.

M: I am?

S: No, I just thought it’d be funny.

M: Oh. Well, I’ll do Bob the Builder then.

S: NO!

N: NO!

B: NO!

K: Arrghh... NO! Stoppit, that really hurts..

S: Was Kian no-ing at her or us?

B, N & M: *shrug*

M: Sounded perverted, whatever it was.

K: Shut up! Ouch, no, STOP!

S: Er, right.

M: Anyway. *dashes off, then comes back wearing Bob the Builder outfit*

S: Lawd.

M: CAN WE FIX IT?

B: *holds up fists* I can fix your ugly face!

N: Um, yes we can?

M: *singing* Scoop, Muck and Dizzy, and Roley too! Lofty and Wendy, join the crew! Bob and the gang have so much fun, working together, they get the job done!!

S: Mark, I can’t believe you actually know the words….

B: Traitor!

N: Boo! Hiss! Gerroff! *hurls an apple at Mark*

G: *leans into room* Hey, Nicky! Only I’m allowed to throw stuff!

N: Sorry.

G: And Mark! That was atrocious!

M: Yeah, sorry.

G: Bob does it with so much more style!

M: WHAT?!

B: WHAT?!

S: Can we stop yelling what? Please?

B: But….

S: *menacingly* Bryaaaaann..

B: Sorry. So… can I do my impression?

S: OK. What are you doing?

B: Just wait here. *dashes off*

N: Well we weren’t planning on going anywhere else…

M: Phnnf?

S: What’s up with Mark?

N: *snigger* He’s trapped in his suit.

M: FNF FNT FNNFNY!

N: I think he said it’s not funny.

S: Oh, but it is….

M: NNNNRRRRRRRR!!!

N: I think he said GRRRRRRRR.

S: Fine.

M: FNF FNNNN!! NLF FNNNNNN!!!

N: He said Fu….

S: ALRIGHT!!

N: OK.

B: I’M BAAAAACK!!

N: What the hell are you?

B: *sticks stomach out* Kerry in August!!

N: BOOOOOOOOO!!!!

S: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

G: BOOOO!!!

M: NNNNFFFFFFFFF!!!

K: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

S: Kian…..?

K: I mean, BOOOO!!

G: *hurls apples* You suck!!

S: *watches*

G: Hey, why are you lot just sat there doing nothing? GET HURLING!

N: But you said…

G: I said HURL!!

S: *throws up*

N: Ewwww!!

G: Not that kind of hurl, you idiot.

S: Oh, right. *hurls apples at Bryan*

B: AGGGHH!! *collapses*

S: Great, more clutter.

G: KIAN!! Come and shift Bryan.

M: FNNNNNNFF!!

G: And Mark.

K: *hobbles out* Me?

G: DO I SEE ANY OTHER KIANS?

K: *drags Bryan and Mark out* Errrgghhh… *falls on top of them*

N: Yuk. Poor Bryan.

S: Nicky. Your turn.

N: But….. What if you don’t like me?! *gets distressed*

G: Gerron with it.

N: *disappears*

S: I’m worried. What if we have to kill him?

G: Treat him like a wasp. Stun it, then swat it.

S: Err.. *shuffles slowly away* OK.

N: *re-enters in long blonde wig with…balloons…shoved up top*

S: Oooohh noooooo…..

G: I think we’re gonna have to kill him.

S: Me too.

N: Hey! Hear me out!

G: Go on then.

N: OOoohohoHOhOOOOHOhOhoOOHHHH…. CCRREeeeOOOOOLLlleEEE LLLAaaDDddYYY MMMArrMMAALLLLADDDDDDEEEEE aaaadddEEE AaaaaadDDEE!!

G: CHRISTINA EGOLERA?!

S: DIE!!

G: DIE!!!

M: DDDDDFF!!

N: Uh oh. *runs*

G: *grabs Nicky by the collar* Oh no you don’t. Shane!! GET HIM!!

S: *leaps on Nicky* DIE ! DIEE!!! DIIIIIIEEE!!

N: *crawls slowly over to Bryan* Heeeellpp…Meeeeee…

S: DDIIEE!!

G: Er, Shane….

S: WHHATTT??

G: I think you’ve killed him enough now.

S: OK.

G: So… it’s time for your impression…

S: *brightens up* OK! *dashes off*

G: This’d better be good.

B: *snigger*

G: Did you say something?

B: No.

G: Oh. K.

S: *appears in long brown wig*

G: What’s with you guys and playing girls? And who the hell are you?

S: SHUT UP! GET OVER THERE!! DO THIS!! DO THAT!!

G: ?!

S: LITTLE ! CAN’T YOU EVEN GET ONE SCRIPT RIGHT?!

G: ………………

S: DID YOU EVEN READ THE SCRIPT?! YOU, BRYAN! STOP MESSING AND START ACTING!

G: *starts getting angry*

S: TOSSER!! I’M GOING TO CUT YOUR PART OUT!! SHUT UP!! STOP IT!!

G: That’s…..not…..funny….

S: IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE SHAKESPEARE, FOOL!

K: *cries laughing*

N: *laughs maniacally*

B: *collapses laughing*

M: *chokes laughing*

G: RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

S: Oh darn.

N: Oops.

B: Uh oh.

K: Oooooh dear.

M: Mmmmmff…

G: GET OUT!! DIE DIE DIE!!

I begin hurling bronze apples at them. They all leap out of the window. With the exception of Mark, who got stuck. Ha! Lets see if he can fix THAT then. back