A Fraction of Time

"This is so much better than being stuck alone in my apartment," Caroline commented, glancing out Annie's window at the many couples and families rushing towards their various destinations.

"Hmph," was the only response from her rather bored assistant. Arms crossed over his chest, he watched the same scene Caroline did, only from a drastically different perspective. She saw happy people, rushing to restaurants or gatherings where they intended to have a wonderful time. Friends, relatives, strangers, all celebrating this time of love together. He saw poverty, the pain of people struggling for life which was covered up by too-bright smiles. He saw the freezing homeless people, the heart-broken lovers, the unloved children.

In other words, she saw light and he saw dark. It was the way they always saw things, and the other's perspective was as unnatural to each as breathing underwater.

"Oh, Richard," Caroline sighed and glanced sideways at him. As always, his clothing was black, draping his slender body in too-large folds of darkness. His thick, dark blonde hair was arrayed in masses of waves, each seeming to fight for a different direction. Eyes squinting behind wire-rimmed glasses, the edges forming into creases of pain, he watched the scenes going on around him. With a sinking heart, Caroline realized that Richard was miserable. She had expected it of him, truly she had, but a small part had kept hoping he would relax, enjoy himself a little. To that end, she had plied him with wine, begging him to have drink after drink. He accepted twice, which was obviously not enough to relax him from his rigid posture, his cynical thoughts. "More wine?" she offered, suddenly realizing her own glass was nearly empty.

He refused once again, eyes still trained on the scene below. "No...I think I've had enough," he said, his voice soft and quiet. Caroline had to strain to hear him, leaning almost too close, her face tilted up to catch the words. He studied her as she nodded and moved away, intent on getting herself another drink. An almost sad smile touched his face, one corner of his thin mouth curling up into an unnatural position, the eyes showing humour for just a fleeting moment. The look passed so quickly over his narrow features that those around him never even knew it was there. This was the way it always was. No emotion. He must show no emotion. Or he would be hurt...again. But worse than that was the fact that he could hurt Caroline. It was something he wouldn't have, something he couldn't tolerate. And so his face became stoic once more, the look bland and bored.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Annie shook her head. The party was in full swing. Everyone was dancing, laughing, having a great time. As the night had worn on and the celebrants had became more drunk, the music had been turned up louder and louder. And yet here she was, standing off to one side, her dark eyes following one hurting couple. There was Caroline, pouring herself another drink. Her eyes were still on Richard, as they were most of the time lately. Annie had begun to notice Caroline's penchant for sticking by Richard. Even at a party, where she could mingle, meet new people and chat with old, she stuck by Richard. Why? she wondered. What hold did the cynical artist have over her?

And then there was Richard. Annie had been the only one to see that wistful smile cross his face, the only one to really understand what it meant. There was no doubt that he was completely in love with Caroline. His eyes followed her everywhere she went, that same yearning look playing about his features whenever her back was turned. But what were Caroline's feelings for him? More and more Annie was beginning to realize that Caroline might feel the same way as he did. She couldn't pretend to understand why, but she had never seen such intensity in Caroline's eyes as she had when Richard was around, or even when his name was brought up. It was obvious she cared for him, and deeply, but how far did her feelings truly go?

Annie watched as Caroline returned to Richard's side immediately after obtaining her drink. She didn't pause to talk to anyone else, just moved right to him and handed him the other glass of wine she had in her hand. Richard snapped something at her, and Annie was surprised to see Caroline do nothing more than look sadly at her feet. That certainly wasn't like Caroline, Annie noted with some alarm. Usually she would just smile cheerfully, even when hurt. Had she had too much to drink, or was there more going on there?

* * * * * * * * * *

"I...I'm sorry Caroline," Richard said quietly, his eyes closing for a moment. "I don't intend to get drunk to-night. I have too much on my mind for that." He opened his eyes and looked at her, watching as she slowly lifted her face to him. She was beautiful, stunning in the simple red and white dress she had chosen for the night. The myriad of lights around the room bounced off her skin, creating patterns of colours across her face and neck. As she smiled up at him, he suddenly had the urge to paint her like this. No...better yet, he'd love to paint her with nothing but those colours draping her entire body. The light in her eyes at that moment, the way they sparkled with tender emotion. She would be perfect, the memory would be remembered forever, something he could pull out at any time and study, relive in all its glory. Someday, he knew they would have to part ways. Someday she would stop drawing, or she would no longer need an assistant. Or he would do something horrible and she'd wish him out of her life. It was the way things always were with him, his miserable life never ending. Shivers traced down his spine as he tried to imagine his life without her and he took a large gulp of wine from the unwanted glass she had brought him, hoping it would calm his heart and numb his mind.

"Richard, are you okay?" Caroline asked, placing a hand lightly on his arm. Something was wrong. She had seen the transformation happen quickly, as it often did with him. One moment he had been angry, the next...Something else entirely.

Richard nodded, giving her a tight smile. Almost...he had almost slipped up, allowed part of himself to surface. That couldn't happen. She would dismiss him then and there, ask him to leave his job as her assistant. And he couldn't let go so soon. The job he had taken with her was now about so much more than solely money. He knew he could find another job, some place else, doing something else. But now it was about Caroline. She was his only friend, the only person who had ever truly cared about him. And he loved her, even though she could never love him, he loved her. "I'm fine...Just a little out of sorts. Too many people, you know?" He gave her a rueful grin and turned away, the sight almost too painful.

"Do you want to leave?" she asked, her voice still light, the tone reedy and unsure. She could feel the tenseness in his arm, the way the muscles bunched up in anticipation of some blow. As soon as she released him, he seemed to relax slightly. Whenever she touched him, even in the smallest way, he acted like this. Why? He was her friend, and she had always been that way with friends, lending support when she felt they needed it. But Richard? The sad truth was that even surrounded by others, he was so painfully alone. It made her heart ache, whenever she saw him like this. No friends, no family, no one to turn to when the world came crashing down. Time and again, she had tried to get him to open up, to talk about his pain, his misery. And each time, his sarcasm had come to the forefront, slithering out and attacking her like a starving beast. It always managed to chase her away, to make her go running into the night.

"N...no," he said, the word stuttering out of his mouth as it often did. "I'll be fine..." He was lying, Caroline knew he was, for she knew Richard as no other did. That particular tenseness was still causing his eyes to squint in agitation.

"Are you sure?" she asked, worry evident in her eyes. She refrained from touching him again, for it was obvious he didn't wish her to.

"Yes," he reiterated, the word coming fast and tight. Another lie...He would never be "fine" again, as long as he felt this way for her. If this were any other Valentine's Day, he would be in his apartment, the door closed tightly, a depressing opera engulfing his senses. And he would be alone...not surrounded by Annie's partying friends, but wonderfully, blessedly, sadly alone. "Maybe you should go mingle," he said quietly. "Go see your friends, meet some new people." She was so good in crowds, so easily adaptable. So unlike him . She belonged out there, on the dance floor, having fun as the others were. Perhaps if she left him for a little while, he could slip away and return to the peace and quiet of his lonely apartment. He would miss her for the remainder of the night, but it would be better than watching her eyes, full of sadness and longing like they were now, following the revelers as they wound their way around the small room in a pathetically unorganized attempt at a conga line.

"No." She shook her head. She would not leave Richard alone this night, though it was quite obvious he wished to go home. His eyes looked into hers, intense and with something strange in them that she had never seen before. Longing... Did he want to flee so strongly that the urge to run was ingrained into his entire being?

The conga line came to an abrupt halt as a slow song came on over the speakers. Men and women fell into quick couples and the entire mood of the room changed with surprising suddenness. Richard closed his eyes in dread as he saw the look on Caroline's face soften. Now would be the time she'd leave him. He knew she couldn't possibly resist a slow dance.

"Um...Richard," Caroline said, the words coming tentatively, biting her lip with worry.

"Yes, yes, go ahead..." He anticipated the question, knowing what was on her mind. He could almost hear her voice in his head. "Richard, do you mind if I go dance for a bit?" She'd leave him there and find someone to dance with. She would claim she'd return to him after that one dance, but he knew it would lead to others and soon she'd be on the other side of the room with Annie, celebrating with everyone else. He would be alone... again...That was what he wanted, wasn't it?

"Really?" Caroline was shocked. Richard never wanted to dance. He hated to dance. She remembered when she had dragged him to that awards ceremony. It had taken so much persuading, soft sighs and pointed looks, for him to finally agree to dance with her. And now? He had agreed without her even voicing the entire question. Perhaps that third glass of wine really had worked.

Richard nodded, the look on his face turning sardonic. "Of course...I...I'll be fine." One hand swept outward to punctuate the gesture. Surprise hit him like a physical blow when he felt Caroline's small hand grasp his. What the...? He snatched his hand back as if burnt. "I told you, I'm fine..."

Caroline stared up at him in utter confusion. What did he mean? A moment ago he had...No, wait. Perhaps he thought she had intended to ask him something else. "Go ahead..." Did he think she wanted to leave him there? "Richard, I thought you were going to dance with me," she said, eyes downcast, for some strange reason almost afraid of the answer.

* * * * * * * * * *

It took almost half the song for Richard to finally join Caroline on the dance floor. Annie, still intent on watching them, still curious about the odd developments taking place, found amusement in the awkward way Richard held her at first. She knew this wasn't the first time the two had danced together. Not too long ago, there had been an awards ceremony that Caroline's then-boyfriend, Joe, had not wanted to go to. When her date, a man she had dated for a short time ages ago, had shown up and treated her with incredible condescension, she had been crushed. Richard had been there, though, to save the moment. Surprisingly enough, without Caroline ever having to ask him, he had agreed to go. Later that evening, Caroline had told Annie everything that had occurred, from her too long speech to Richard's asking her to dance with him.

"He actually asked me to dance, Annie," Caroline had said, a strange amount of wonder evident in her voice.

"Richie? Seriously? I can't imagine the Lord of Depression asking anyone to dance." Well, except perhaps Caroline, Annie had amended. Richard would truly do anything for Caroline.

"Well, not asked exactly. But he did initiate it...well, after some rather obvious hints on my part...But he didn't have to..."

"Caroline, you're babbling," Annie had said, patting her friend on the shoulder. Another oddity. Caroline had a tendency to babble like this, but she certainly never had before about Richard... "So, spill the beans...Did he step on your toes? Knock you over?"

"Neither," Caroline had said, another small smile playing about her lips. "He was awkward at first..." A small laugh. "But once he got into the swing of things...no pun intended...He was actually quite good..."

"Did ya slow dance?" She had to test it, to completely understand what was occurring here. It had been the first time Annie had considered the possibility that her best friend might be falling for Richard.

Caroline had nodded, that same soft smile on her face. "It actually felt..." She had paused, obviously looking for the right word, or perhaps for one to cover up her rather confused thoughts. "...nice...But then Joe showed up and Richard left."

"Caroline, tell me something," Annie had said in one of her rare serious moments. "Do you have feelings for Richie?"

"No...no...I have Joe and I really like him. I...Richard's a good friend..."

Annie had nodded, knowing that Caroline would have told her if she did...

Honestly, what had she been thinking?

The truth was that the more she had studied Caroline after that incident, the more she had begun to realize that there was a definite possibility that Caroline was denying her true feelings. But why? Couldn't she see the way Richard looked at her? Even Annie, who tried to avoid being around the cynical man, could see the intense passion he attempted to cover up every time Caroline was around.

* * * * * * * * * *

"See, Richard, this isn't so bad," Caroline said, looking up into his eyes. Strangely enough, it really wasn't. Though he held her far from him, so that their only points of contact were her hand in his, and her arm about his waist, it was still nice dancing with him. Unlike that dog Joe, Richard was taller than her. She knew if she drifted just a tiny bit closer she could rest her head in just the right position on his chest.

The last time they had danced, she had been amazed at how right it felt, the way their bodies fit together perfectly. Her head had been in the perfect position upon his chest, his chin easily resting on the top of her head.

"Whatever," Richard muttered darkly. Wasn't so bad? It was torture, pure torture, holding her in his arms like this, keeping her away and yet wanting to drag her in close, to fit her body to his. But he couldn't. No... it wouldn't be right. He had done it once, held her like that, cradled her small body in his arms. It had been wonderful and, as always, it hadn't lasted. Joe had interrupted and Richard had left.

On the long walk home that particular night, Richard had thought long and hard about the occurrences of the evening. He analyzed his feelings for her, tried to rationalize them to himself. Yet, all he could come up with was "I love her..." And desperately at that. This, however, was one emotion he would bury deep, never allowing it to surface except in vulnerable moments when he was alone. Those were the times he would hold every memory of her close: the time she told him he was one of the best people she had gotten to know, the time she crawled into his lap, drunk and frightened, and had allowed him to hold her, the time they had delivered a friend's baby, their heads close together, the awe they both felt. Most of all, he would remember when he had kissed her, all the pent-up passion from months of working near her without expressing any emotion coming out in one rush. The embarrassment of the next moment, when she had told him she didn't know anything about his letter, he shoved aside. In his fantasy, she had clung to him as she had, kissed him as she had, but she knew about the letter and felt the same as he did.

* * * * * * * * * *

Annie watched as the couple drifted closer and closer together. It was obvious neither of them realized how they swayed towards each other as they danced. Each had their eyes closed, most likely to secretly enjoy the sensations they were feeling.

Caroline's face held a soft smile, one which radiated throughout the entire room, bright and beautiful. Did she even know how she looked when she was with Richard? Most likely not. To anyone who happened to glance their way for more than a few seconds, it was incredibly obvious how she felt about him. Annie was shocked that it had taken her this long to catch on to that fact. Perhaps she had been hoping, praying even, that Caroline's feelings would focus on someone else. After all, Annie and Richard hadn't gotten along since the first moment they met.

Now, however, she attempted to study him from Caroline's perspective. Tall and blonde, a little too thin for Annie's tastes, but surprisingly, she realized that he was a handsome man. The pained expression he usually wore didn't help her impression, but right now, the contented look on his face smoothed away the wrinkles of cynicism and misery and left her with an impression of sensitivity and caring. Caring? Richie? Well, perhaps there was hope yet.

"Hey Del!" Annie called across the room to Caroline's rather shallow ex-fiance.. Richard and Caroline were still dancing, still drifting closer together. They weren't quite touching just yet, but it was only a matter of time before they did. And she wanted Del over with her before it happened. She wanted his opinion on it. After all, if Del could see what she thought she saw, then it was extremely obvious and Annie wouldn't feel so bad about the possibility of interfering.

Del ignored her. Truly, what else did she expect? His back was to her, which meant that he was most likely chatting up his newest conquest. Which is what I should be doing right now, instead of watching my best friend dance with the Prince of Darkness ... And normally, she would be with her latest conquest. But this was more important. She had a feeling that Caroline's happiness hinged on this, and that maybe, just maybe, so did Richard's. She wondered if being with Caroline would make the cynical artist happy. So far, nothing really had. The closest he had come was when that gay couple had bought one of his pieces of artwork. He had been, in his own Richard-like way, ecstatic. And what he done? Oh my God... He had gone running around the museum, searching frantically for Caroline. No one else had mattered at that moment, for he had wanted to share his joy with her and her alone. Oh my God... Even then, even way back then, just a scarce month after he had first come into their lives, Richard had been in love with Caroline.

The letter hadn't been the writing of a man who suddenly found himself with feelings for his boss. Quite the contrary, the letter was the direct result of months of hidden emotions. All that time...Well over a year and a half now...Richard had loved her since... the beginning?

Annie forced her mind to go back to the first days of Richard's employment with Caroline. It was hard to remember anything but what a pain in the ass he had been. She had to peel away his layers of indifference, of cynicism, of anguish, in order to see everything clearly. And that was perhaps the most difficult thing she had ever done.

"Del!" she called again as her thoughts began to wander backwards in time. "Get your ass over here!" Let's see...When was the first time I remember him doing something nice for Caroline? Hmmm...

There had been the time he had accompanied her to her home in Wisconsin. That was certainly something he hadn't been looking forward to. And yet he had gone. Annie remembered clearly Caroline's description of how he had sat with her outside, in the freezing cold, of how he had brought her coat to her, the way he had put his arm around her and held her while she was upset. Annie hadn't really thought much at the time, figuring the cold air had gotten to the artist. But perhaps there had been more there already?

Her mind went back further, searching for clues, trying to understand the situation in its entirety. There had been that lovely painting he had done of Paris for her, when Del had been his typical insensitive self. Caroline had later told her how Richard had so sweetly pointed out the scene he had painted, staring into her eyes and smiling. Smiling? Annie hadn't known what to make of it. Caroline had also talked of how she had actually kissed him on the cheek and he hadn't retreated. According to Caroline, it was the first time he had really allowed physical contact between them. Of course, Annie hadn't considered there could be more there than just the beginning of a friendship.

There has to be more clues...Like when he agreed to march in the parade with her, or when he took care of her when she injured her back. That time he even went so far as to draw her strip for her. Wait... All of a sudden it hit her, like a freight train coming in at full speed. The answer she had been looking for. She couldn't believe how obvious it had been.

A conversation she had had with Richard during his first week of working with Caroline...

"Hello..." He had said, his voice coming rushed and almost a little angry.

"Richie, it's me, Annie..."

"I know who you are..." Still that angry tone. He always sounded that way and Annie wondered what, exactly, was wrong with him.

"Look...Caroline's in trouble down at the pharmacy and I think..."

"You never think, Annie...And I'm already on my way," he had snapped at her and slammed the phone down.

Later, Annie had learned of Richard showing up to bail Caroline out, reluctant as always, claiming that Annie had been the cause of his showing up at the pharmacy that night. He had actually gone on his own, with just the call from Caroline being enough to send him out in the dark.

Almost six days before that, too, he had played the part of Caroline's date when the man who was supposed to be turned out to be a married jerk. He had been wonderful, Caroline had said, even going so far as to kiss her when Del had shown up.

"Oh, Annie...He was amazing!" Caroline had said, a look of admiration on her face. "He was going to leave me there, but then Del came over. Almost instantly, Richard took up the role of my date..."

"He didn't?" Annie had asked, surprised to say the least. Richard had been an obnoxious ass all day, making comments about Caroline's unorganized lifestyle and Annie's numerous conquests. She just couldn't see him taking on the role of "romantic date." It just didn't work.

"He did," Caroline had said with a smirk. "I was going to introduce him to Del as my new assistant when he told Del he was my date." Caroline had laughed suddenly, the look in her eyes going slightly fuzzy. "And then he kissed me..."

"What?!" Annie had screeched.

"I know, I know...It seems odd. I can barely believe he did it..."

"Was it any good?" Annie had asked, already guessing the most likely answer to that.

"Annie!" Caroline had exclaimed, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

"Well, was it?" Annie had wanted to hear that it was awful. It gave her more leverage over the annoying man. She could mock him for it the next day.

"Oh, Annie...It was rushed and I was a bit too surprised to think anything at that moment." A pause and an obviously inward look. "But I wouldn't say it was bad, no..." Her eyes cleared suddenly. "But it didn't mean anything. He even charged me overtime for the night."

Annie had laughed, wanting to push for more details, though she had decided to let it go...

Now she wished she hadn't. The look in Caroline's eyes when she talked about the evening, about Richard's concept of Sincere Amore, had been one she hadn't seen before.

* * * * * * * * * *

Del sighed as he heard Annie's distinctively loud voice come from across the room. Why now, of all times, did she have to disturb him? Rolling his eyes, he looked down at the beautiful woman he had been talking to.

Amber wasn't brilliant, by any stretch of the word, but with her long blonde hair, pale green eyes, and rather large bustline, she was the exact kind of woman he was always looking for. Her mind was obviously on anything but intellectual pursuits as she chatted quietly with him. She certainly seemed quite impressed that he owned his own company, even though her head most likely swam when he talked about the intricacies of owning and running a company.

He had been so close to taking the beautiful woman back to his place, for he could see the wine and the conversation were wearing her down. And then Annie had shouted to him, sounding quite insistent. What could she possibly want? She must think it quite important if she were parting ways from whatever man she was talking to and forcing him to leave Amber.

"I'll be right back," Del said with a smile, trying to look his most sincere. Amber just smiled and waved her perfectly manicured nails at him. With that, knowing she'd move on in mere moments, he crossed the room to Annie.

* * * * * * * * * *

"What is it?" Del asked, his voice sounding incredibly impatient.

As Annie watched him look over his shoulder several times, she said, "Del! This is more important than that blonde bimbo you're trying to get into bed with! Look..." She pointed in the direction of Caroline and Richard.

They still weren't quite touching, but they were so close that even Annie ached with it. The look on Richard's face was an exact mirror of the one on Caroline's face. A slight smile, eyes closed, they were both obviously enjoying the other's presence.

"Wow," Del said, finally seeing what Annie was looking at. "Richard's dancing? That must be a first." Annie struck him on the upper arm, her eyes looking murderous. "Ow!" Del exclaimed. "What was that for?"

"Just watch," she said, her eyes still on the couple.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Richard?" Caroline said, glancing up at him. His eyes were closed, and she sincerely hoped it didn't pain him to dance with her like this. There was no response from the man and Caroline leaned in closer, resting her chin on his chest, face still pointed upwards.

His eyes flew open and he looked down at her without moving away. Their lips...they were so close. All it would take was one slight motion, just his head moving an inch or two further down and he could capture those smiling lips with his... No! he admonished himself. He mustn't think that way, to consider the possibility that more could be there than an employer-employee relationship, or perhaps even friendship at the most. "What Caroline?" he asked, trying to regain the cynicism that was usually a requisite part of his personality, trying so very hard to remain indifferent.

Caroline studied him for a few moments, wondering about the look that had appeared in his eyes for just a second. It had been a gentle look, one she had rarely seen on his angular face. It surprised her, that look did, for the expression in his soft brown eyes was one she could never have imagined seeing there. "I'm sorry I dragged you here..." She didn't know what else to say. Her plan to get Richard to relax, to enjoy himself, was obviously a complete failure. He held her almost awkwardly, keeping her body just far enough away from his that they didn't touch. Her chin on his chest obviously disturbed him a great deal, and so she shifted slightly away from him.

"No...don't apologize," Richard said, grimacing. In truth, she hadn't really dragged him here. After all, he had wanted to spend this evening with Caroline. This wasn't exactly part of his fantasy night with her...well, the dancing was perhaps...but he hadn't imagined them surrounded by many people, walled in on all sides by drunken celebrants. He sighed, one long drawn out and agonized sigh. "I...just don't handle parties well..."

"I know." Caroline smiled up at him, still holding herself slightly away from his body. It was strange, really, how Richard had agreed to accompany her to Annie's party. She had been dead set on going alone, even though Valentine's Day was a night intended for love and romance. She and Joe had broken up over a month ago and she hadn't felt ready to try another relationship. After all, the last couple had been complete disasters. Well, not disasters perhaps. She and Del were still friends, though the spark of intense desire they had felt for each other had gone out long ago. Their unstable relationship had finally come to an end after several uncomfortable break-ups and tentative reconciliations, which both had felt was absolutely for the best. How they had ever planned to get married, she still couldn't figure out. That kind of committed relationship just couldn't be based on sex alone, as hers and Del's was. There had to be more...There had to be Sincere Amore.

A worried look crossed Caroline's face as Richard watched her. Trepidation coursed through him, the ever-present fright that he would give himself away. Or that Annie would tell her about the letter he had written months ago. "What?" he asked, looking away from her, tilting his head up and away from the temptation of kissing her.

"Hmmm?" Caroline asked. "I'm sorry...Was I staring at you?" A sheepish smile made its way onto her face as she looked away from him. She hadn't meant to stare, but that look she had seen was still firmly implanted in her mind. Simply put, she just couldn't stop herself from wondering what it meant.

"Yes," Richard answered her with, his voice harsh and uncompromising.

Caroline smiled, unperturbed. It was so like Richard to dislike her looking at him. No matter what she did, no matter what he did, it always made him uncomfortable. "Well, I'm sorry, Richard. I just wanted to thank you for coming with me. You didn't have to, but I'm really glad you did." Without thinking, she moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him in a gentle hug.

* * * * * * * * * *

Finally , Annie thought, watching as Caroline wrapped her arms around Richard, pulling him closer to her. How had it been possible that she had never noticed how right Richard and Caroline looked as a couple? The way their bodies fit together? They truly gave new meaning to the phrase "opposites attract". Richard...dark, cynical, always dressed in black, even at a Valentine's Day party. Caroline...peppy, cheerful, wearing a stunning outfit in shades of red and white that was both softly flattering and devastatingly sexy at the same time. They were a study in contrasts and Annie could see why the artist in Richard was so drawn to Caroline. The differences, the light versus dark, must truly call out to his soul.

Wow, I'm being so poetic , she mused. For some reason, the situation brought out the romantic in her. That part was usually buried deep, pushed aside so that she could enjoy sex without any of the emotional baggage most people associated with it. She knew, somehow, though, that it was different for both Richard and Caroline, that love and sex were intertwined for them, rather than separate as they were for Annie. In that way, at least, the two artists were alike. Perhaps that was what tied them together, she realized, that devotion to true love...What had Richard called it? Sincere Amore ...

Annie continued to watch the pair as Richard's arms came awkwardly around Caroline, encircling her body but barely touching her. He held her so tentatively, the look on his face a strange mixture of contentedness and fright. For a moment, his eyes opened and his gaze skirted the room around him, finally coming to rest on Annie. As soon as their eyes connected, she looked away, afraid that he would know she was watching him during such a tender moment. But in those few seconds of eye contact, she saw all the emotions he had been trying to hide from Caroline, from Annie, from everyone. The cynicism and obvious misery of his existence was still there, but mixed into it she could see his caring side, the pain of too many things gone wrong, and his intense and overwhelming love for Caroline.

It was hard to believe that he had actually verbally denied his feelings for Caroline. Somehow, he had managed to say it to Annie in such a way that she had actually let the entire thing go.

What exactly had he said, to make her let it go, to force her into silence?

"Alright, look, Annie. When I wrote this, I was going through some things, okay? I
thought I had feelings, but I don't! Or if I did, I don't anymore, so all you're going to do with this is cause people needless pain."

The tone in his voice, the look in his eyes...Though Annie hadn't been completely convinced that Richard was over her friend, she had allowed herself to believe that he thought he was over her. But there had been those lingering doubts...